A Letter to My Younger Self

Yep that’s me… 15 year old me… I remember that, it was night before I got my braces, I remember being filled with excitement and nervous. I had got bullied for having bad teeth and in my mind getting braces would fix it. Thinking back now I was so young, so determined to fit in, always trying to look better. That was 5 years ago now. Five years may not seem like a long time to some, but when you’re a teenager growing up, life can change within the blink of an eye. You are always changing, discovering yourself, learning, making 5 years feel like a life time. So this is where it starts… I have always wondered what I would say if I could talk to my younger self. Would I myself warn what was to come, would I stay positive, would say anything at all? I pondered over this for weeks now, unsure on whether to even write this post, but with it being on my mind and my blog being a place to express whats on my mind, I can’t not write this…

Dear My Younger Self,

I know you probably don’t want to listen to this. You always were stubborn about taking in advice, but you’ll soon learn that sometimes you need to. Sometimes you need to take a step back and get an opinion off someone you trust. Talking of trust that’s where I’ll start. Don’t be naive! Don’t be blindsighted by the nice things people say to you. It will be hard, but only trust those who you know really do have your back. You’re about to hit a rocky stage. Things will seem hard for a while and you’ll want to talk to someone… you’ll need to talk to someone. But only talk to those the closest to you, the ones that you know deep in your heart you can honestly trust. Being a teenager doesn’t last forever, keep that in mind. Once you hit rock bottom, the only way that you can go is up. Yes,  know that sounds cilche, but I know you always liked your motivational quotes. You’re a lot stronger than you think, but sometimes you have to hunt for that strength. Don’t give up on hunting for it, you’ll find it just when you need it.

You’re final couple of years at school will be hard. People can be horrible sometimes, but it doesn’t mean that everyone is. Give it a few years and trust me, you’ll meet some of the best people in your life. Just be patient and don’t let the wait get you down. Remember that idea that you had about doing fashion at college? The one that people laughed at, the one that teachers persuaded you not to do? Yeah you know the one I mean, well make sure you don’t give up on that idea. Going through with it will be the best decision that you have ever made. It will lead you to amazing things.

Oh and one last thing. Just be you! Yes again another cilche and one that you probably don’t believe. But trust me, this is the most important. You may not know who you are yet, you may want to experiment, but always stay true to yourself, no matter what. Don’t let others lead you off in the wrong way, don’t think you should be doing something just because everyone else is. Just do you… just be you!

Love your future self x

What would you say to your younger self if you had the chance? Tag me in your posts or leave a comment down below! It’s amazing how much you learn and how much you wish you knew when you were younger. 15 year old me would have loved some guidance, but I’ve got where I am today and couldn’t be happier.

Yours Truly,

Emma x

Like getting real and honest? Have you seen my truth about uni post?

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The Truth Behind My First Year at Uni – Friendships

This post has been a long time coming… I have mentioned it multiple times to you all now before, but it was a lot harder to write than what I anticipated. There have been so many times where I have sat down and just not known where to begin. I have written and rewritten paragraph after paragraph, not sure if what I was writing was really the truth, bit I have finally finished and am ready to share it with you all. I have decided to split my story into a few difference parts so that my posts aren’t too long and waffly! So keep a look out for them all.

This is probably the most personal thing I have posted on my blog to date, but I want my blog to stay real and truly be about me and to do that I want to share with you the ups and downs of my life. So here goes…

University… a place where great things happen, where you change as a person, where you always enjoy yourself… A place where you meet the most amazing people, best friends, boyfriends… A place full of happiness, hopes and dreams. For me that place doesn’t exist. I’m not saying that uni isn’t great and these things don’t happen, it just isn’t quite as simple as that. Before I started I had been blinded by an unrealistic expectation of what uni would be like but these quickly shattered after a week of being there! I’ll start with the story of how my freshers week went. In my mind I planned to move in and instantly make friends with my flatmates. I then thought I would be out socialising every night and trying out for lots of societies during the day, but its didn’t quite pan out that way.

Moving into halls began well. I got my room set up perfectly and I felt at home in there quite quickly. Even the first night went well. We went to the club across the road and it was good fun, it was the next time that we went out, the Monday night, that didn’t quite go to plan. If you are interested on my freshers stories then let me know and I will do a specific post for it! If I write it all now we could be here for days. So I will keep it brief; I made the mistake of trusting people too quickly and thinking that just because we were at uni everyone would be friends with everyone. But in my mind this quickly changed and it wasn’t the last time my true friends were slit from the fake ones. That’s what part one of this story will focus on, Friendships.

It was after that night at freshers that I knew I was in for an eventful year! I knew that sharing a flat with 9 other girls would be hard but it was nothing like I imagined! Being in an all girl environment meant that emotions were constantly running high and at times I found it hard. At home I was used to being able to get away from the drama one I was in the comfort of my house, but it was the place I was living that held the drama. There were fall outs and arguments and changing friendships all the time and although I tried to distance myself with the drama, there were occasions that I found myself stuck right in the middle. I was stressed, down and lost. At times I felt like I had hit rock bottom with my emotions and I wanted to do anything to leave that place. I had got caught up in so much friendship dramas that the good times in my mind were taken over by the bad. It’s only now that I have left halls that I can really appreciate the good times that I had and my real friends who helped me through the worst of it. I know what I have just written may make halls seems like a horrible scary place to some, but for many of you that have been to uni, I feel like you will understand the ups and downs, but also the fact that looking back a few months on, I wouldn’t have changed anything. If it wasn’t for living in halls then I wouldn’t have met the girls that I call my best friends today and even if I had met them, there wouldn’t have been the tough times that have made us grow closer. I thought I would make bestfriends as soon as I started uni, but now I understand that it takes time for the real friendships to develop; friendships that are invaluable. Friendships that will last a life time.

It wasn’t just uni halls where friendships grew but on my course too. Again I was in an all girl environment, but here I was lucky enough to click with some of the girls more easily. Unlike halls, it was easier to see who I would get along with, and not being forced to spend all our time together meant that there were a lot less personality clashes. I was lucky to quickly develop good connections with my coursemates. Being on the same course, we share the same interests and goals, as well as understanding each others stress! Like the rest of my friendships it took some time to see who were my closest friends but again I am happy it worked out this way. I now have a coursemate who is also a best friend!

So it is right when people say you will make your best friends when you go to uni! You just have to remember that not everyone is going to be your best friend, something I was naive enough to believe at the start. For some people, they end up with big groups of uni friends and for a long time I wished that this was the case for me. For others, they end up with best friends instantly and never argue. But as you can see things panned out a little differently for me. It took me a while to accept that I wasn’t one of those lucky people and I spent months wishing that things had been different for me. But now, being back at home for summer, I have grown to see that although my unrealistic idea of friendships was shattered so early on, I would not change it for the world! I many only have a handful of close friends at uni and it may have taken a while to get to this stage, but I love them all dearly and couldn’t ask for more! I know they will be there for me through thick and thin and I am excited for more years of sharing memories.

Yours Truly,

Emma x

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